


For What Has Been Done Cannot Be Undone

by FrushCrush



Category: Cooperatives (Polygon), Law Abiding Citizen (Polygon), Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Canonical Suicide Mention, Crossover, Demon Deals, M/M, Slice of Life, Soul Selling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-14 17:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20195890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrushCrush/pseuds/FrushCrush
Summary: ‘Dial-A-Demon legal department, you've reached Russ Frushtick, how may I help you?’ Russ recited cooly before glancing towards his computer screen, letting out a soft gasp when he saw a bewildered looking human staring back at him.‘Yeah, uh,’ the human started, looking skeptical, ‘I’m trying to summon a demon?’





	For What Has Been Done Cannot Be Undone

**Author's Note:**

> I just checked my drafts and realized I’ve been working on this dumb crossover since NOVEMBER OF 2017 so I decided to post what was finished and call it a day lmao. Pretty sure nobody reads LAC fics anymore but still!!!! Also [here's a link the the Cooperatives playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaDrN74SfdT6GxlIhY9nCpdDlWxRfpOq3) if you wanna watch old Russ and Plante content.

‘Dial-A-Demon legal department, you've reached Russ Frushtick, how may I help you?’ Russ recited cooly before glancing towards his computer screen, letting out a soft gasp when he saw a bewildered looking _human_ staring back at him.

‘Yeah, uh,’ the human started, looking skeptical, ‘I’m trying to summon a demon?’

Russ sat up a little straighter in his clunky desk chair, trying to look more professional – most of his calls were from fellow demons in accounting asking about documents and, if he was being honest, this was his first and only contact with the Overworld since he ended up in Hell. ‘Well, you’ve, ah, come to the right place? Quick question though....how did you get my Skype?’

‘Oh, it was on the contact page of a site I found on the Dark Web,’ the human explained, shrugging. ‘You don’t really look like a demon to me, though.’

Russ frowned slightly. ‘Well, I’m in legal. We have a dress code.’ He moved the cloak he could only assume was dark red – despite being dead, he was still as colorblind as ever – slightly away from his chest to better reveal his sandy colored suit over a clean white button up and yellow tie.

‘Where are your horns?’

‘Okay, first of all, it’s really rude to just _ask_ someone about having horns,’ Russ stated, annoyed. ‘Secondly, does it even _matter_?’

The human frowned back. ‘Just wanted to make sure this is the real deal, you know.’

‘_Fine_.’ Russ carefully removed the hood of his cloak, revealing two small, sharp horns erupting from his forehead, the skin around them shredded into dry, blood-encrusted strips. ‘Happy now?’ Russ asked, pulling his hood back over them once more and adjusting his glasses.

‘Alright, sorry dude!’

Russ let out a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Once he felt more level headed, he sighed. ‘Okay, so you wanted to summon a demon. Here I am. What can I help you with today?’ he asked in a sickly sweet customer service voice, returning a small fake smile to his face.

‘Well, I want to destroy everything,’ the human said matter-of-factly, ‘and the easiest way to get a demon to help me.’

‘Uh. Excuse me, mister....?’

‘It’s Chris,’ the human supplied helpfully.

‘Chris,’ Russ repeated. ‘Chris, do you realize the severity of what summoning a demon entails? You’re granting permission for a dark passenger of sorts to be hosted within your very soul. There’s no undoing this.’

‘Yeah, I know how all that works. I did my research,’ Chris answered nonchalauntly. ‘I don’t have anything to lose anyway. I got fired from my job, I’m about to be evicted, I don’t have any loved ones, and I’m totally broke. Might as well go all in, right?’

Russ felt a small pang of sympathy for the man where his heart used to be ages ago, seeing himself somewhat in the bearded human. ‘So, you’re serious about this?’

‘Oh yeah, of course. Y’all can do what you want with me once I’m dead, I really don’t care.’

‘Well, alright then. Would you like me to connect you with one of our Soul Brokers?’ Russ asked, already setting up the joint call feature.

‘Actually,’ Chris interjected, rubbing the back of his head bashfully, ‘would you mind being my demon?’

Russ was caught off guard, blinking slowly at the face on the screen. ‘_Your_....demon?’

‘I don’t mean like _my_ demon, but like, you know what I mean? Like, you stick around for the ride, I guess?’ Chris added quickly, looking a little embarrassed.

‘Uh....sure? Yeah, I guess I can do that,’ Russ answered. He was sure he was breaking some rule by accepting, but he desperately wanted to see the Overworld again, even if that meant losing a cushy job like this. ‘Okay! Let the bargain be struck!’ He clapped his hands together, the noise echoing through his quiet office ominously. ‘Now, where should we arrange to meet so you can sign the paperwork? I’ll have the documents written up by four, so any time after that would be ideal.’

* * *

Russ pulled his cloak tighter around himself, hiding his mild mannered suit from view while passing through the ethereal checkpoint. With the contract stored neatly in his briefcase, he passed a set of false documents to the security agent, stating he was a legal representative for one of their many clients who needed help being sprung from a Canadian prison. The agent didn’t bat an eyelash – or wouldn’t have, if he had any left – at Russ’ papers and programmed the portal for the Canadian side of Niagara Falls.

After unsuccessfully attempting to hail a cab, Russ remembered that demons can’t be seen in the Overworld most of the time and decided to transport himself directly. Within seconds, he was in front of the small 24-hour Ukrainian restaurant in the East Village he had agreed to meet Chris at – now _that_ was significantly easier than public transportation any day. When he entered, he quickly found the man sitting at the counter, picking at his stuffed cabbage.

‘_Christopherrrrrrrr_,’ Russ cooed, and he watched the bustling of servers and Manhattanites stop dead in their tracks as he slid onto the empty stool next to his target.

The man’s eyes grew wide, turning quickly to survey everyone else’s frozen forms. He swallowed loudly, dangling legs kicking slightly out of nerves. ‘Hi. This is probably embarrassing, but I can’t remember your name.’

Russ sighed, pulling an uneaten bowl of matzo ball soup from another patron towards himself. ‘It’s Russ, Russ Frushtick. You know, I’m surprised this place is still around after all these years,’ he mused, digging his spoon into the soft ball in the center of his bowl and taking a bite. ‘Tastes the same too. Weird. Anyway, why don’t you finish your food, ask me any remaining questions you might have, and then we can go ahead and sign a legally binding contract where I have ownership over your eternal soul.’

Chris pushed some of his cabbage around on his plate. ‘Why don’t you tell me about yourself a little? I mean, we’re gonna be seeing a lot of each other for the rest of my life, I guess, ha.’

‘Well, I was in the insurance business when I was alive, but what I _really_ liked was traveling. Unfortunately, living in a big city like Los Santos means not having the money to do things like travel the world, especially when you don’t get paid vacation,’ Russ recounted, a little lost in thought. ‘So, I sold my soul to a demon so I could see far off places I would never have been able to see otherwise, but I realized too late that there’s always a catch.’ He moved his half empty soup bowl away and looked at Chris. ‘Are you sure you wanna go through with this?’

‘I am,’ Chris answered. ‘I’ve got nothing left to hold me back.’

‘Alright.’ Russ set his briefcase on the now cleared space on countertop, clicking open the latches and removing the papers. ‘All you need to do is read it over and sign.’

Chris took the document from the demon’s outstretched hand and immediately flipped to the last page, reaching for the knife on top of his napkin.

‘What are you doing?!’ Russ shouted, panic evident in his voice.

‘Uh....I need to sign it in blood?’ Chris offered, causing Russ to let out a small nervous laugh.

‘No, we, ah, we don’t do that? _Super_ unsanitary and a nightmare to read. We just use red ink nowadays.’

Chris’ face went pink. ‘Oh. Sorry.’ He picked out a pen from the suitcase and scrawled _Christopher Thomas Plante_ next to every x.

‘I haven’t seen the Overworld in two thousand years,’ Russ admitted quietly. ‘I thought it’d be all destroyed long before 4000.’

‘What are you talking about?’

Russ watched the man fill out the date on the contract – according to Chris, it had only been a week and a half since Russ had killed himself.

‘Oh, uh.... It’s nothing.’

* * *

‘Where _are_ we, Russ?’

Russ had felt Chris wake long before he had spoken – one of the perks of soul bonding, he guessed. ‘Mars. I thought it might be a good place to start. It’s far enough from home that any mistakes you may make will be....easy to brush over. I have a lot of fond memories from here.’

Chris looked down at his body, noticing the change of clothes – from a flannel and torn up jeans to a sleek space suit. ‘Did....did you _undress_ me while I was asleep?’

‘I can’t believe you’d even say that,’ Russ said accusingly. ‘I’m a _demon_, not a creep. I just used my powers to change your clothes into ones I thought would be a little _nicer_, considering where we are.’ He moved half of his cloak away from his body to reveal a matching space suit before pulling it tight again around his tall frame.

‘Oh, whoops. Sorry. Still new to all this, I guess.’ Chris stood, brushing some space dust off of his legs. ‘Is it a good idea to come back to someplace you’ve been to? I mean, what if someone recognizes you?’

Russ lifted his feet slightly, now hovering a few inches off the surface of the planet. ‘I’m dead, technically. The only person on this entire planet who can see me is you.’ He didn’t mention that he left no witnesses anyway, not wanting to brag.

Chris nodded, taking in his surroundings. ‘So, what’s the plan, Stan?’

‘It’s Russ,’ the demon said with a small frown.

‘I know, it’s an expression.’

‘Well,’ Russ began, ‘why don’t you call someone an Uber?’

‘Uh. I’m pretty sure I don’t get cell reception on Mars?’ Chris answered, clearly not understanding.

‘No, no, use this _phone_ and _call someone an Uber_,’ he says slower, tossing a detonator remote with a wink.

‘Hey Russ? This, uh, isn’t a phone.’

Russ sighed, already exasperated. ‘You’re supposed to play along, Chris, that’s just how it works.’

Chris frowned slightly. ‘Can I just blow some shit up already?’

‘You know what? Fuck it, just go for it,’ Russ said, throwing his hands up in defeat.

Excitedly, Chris flicked the switch on the detonator, watching a few nearby buildings go up in a cloud of dust and flame. Russ felt a familiar tingle rush through his body, unable to stop his lips from curling into a smile.

‘C’mon then, let’s find you some guns.’

* * *

‘Who’s Doug?’ Chris asked, fixing his hair in the gleaming hotel bathroom mirror.

Russ bit his lip anxiously while he floated outside the doorway. ‘Who told you about Doug?’

‘You did, I guess? You said his name a lot in your sleep last night. By the way, is it weird that you sleep? I mean, you don’t really _need_ it.’

Gently, Russ landed and padded his way over to sit on the edge of the luxuriously deep bathtub. ‘He, uh. Doug is – _was_ , I mean – _my_ demon.’

Chris turned, leaning back against the sink. ‘What happened to him?’

‘I don’t know,’ Russ answered with a shrug. ‘Once I....died, I never saw him again.’ He sighed. ‘We had a _lot_ of baggage, I guess. Things were, uh....complicated between us.’

‘You were in love with him,’ Chris stated more than asked, slipping a hand into the pocket of his jeans.

‘No! ....Yes? I don’t know. It was a really confusing time for me.’

‘Say no more, I got you.’ A pause. ‘So....y’all fucked, right?’

‘_Christopher!_’

‘That’s not a no!’

* * *

_‘Where are we, Russ?’_ Chris asked.

Russ recognized the hot air on his face immediately – it made him feel sick. He didn’t have to look around to know where he was. _‘This is where I died.’_

He turned in time to watch Chris walking towards the edge of the cliff, as if in a trance. _‘I want to go home.’_

_‘Don’t leave me, Chris, you can’t go,’_ Russ begged, trying to grab onto the human’s hand and phasing through it. _‘Chris!’_

Russ watched helplessly as Chris tumbled off the cliff, a scream filling his entire body and threatening to tear his throat in two.

‘Russ? Russ, wake up!’

Russ bolted upright in bed, face to face with a frightened looking man. ‘Chris?’

His vision was blurry, but he could see the relief on Chris’ face. ‘Oh thank fuck, you were really starting to scare me,’ he said, pulling Russ in for a tight hug. ‘What happened?’

‘I....I had a nightmare,’ he answered, feeling his face covered with sweat.

‘I didn’t think demons could have nightmares.’ Chris let go of Russ, sitting on the bed in front of him. ‘Do you wanna....talk about it?’

Russ shook his head. ‘I wouldn’t know how to even begin to explain it.’

* * *

‘How did you die?’

‘Excuse me?’ Russ turned to look at Chris, who was speeding down the highway away from at least fifteen cop cars.

‘You never told me how you died,’ he said again. ‘I was....curious, I guess?’

Russ glanced in the mirror, feeling a small rush as he watched another two cars join the chase. It was enough for him to get the courage to tell him the truth. ‘I killed myself, actually.’

‘Oh.’ They were both quiet, the sirens piercing the air between them. ‘Did it hurt?’ he asked, taking a second to let his eyes linger on the demon before flicking back to the road.

‘Yeah.’ He remembered Doug begging him not to go, asking him if they had fun together. He remembered jumping anyway. ‘Yeah, it did.’

Russ felt a warm hand on top of his, and he looked at Chris, who gave him a small sympathetic smile. ‘Good thing I’m not dying anytime soon,’ Chris said, pushing the gas pedal to the floor.

* * *

As soon as they lost the cops, Chris was pushing Russ up against the door of their trash-filled hideout, fingers curled into the demon’s blood speckled button up.

‘What –’ Russ started before Chris leaned upwards, pressing their mouths together messily.

Russ was quite surprised at first, a wave of thoughts crowding his brain before he gave in, kissing back like he needed it to breathe. He barely registered hands were unclasping his robe and pushing it to the floor to land around his dress shoes, only focusing on the roughness of facial hair against his skin.

When they pulled apart, Chris was looking back at him, vulnerability in his eyes. ‘You make me feel alive for once in my life, Russ, you know? Like I could run from the cops every day and not get tired of it because you’d be there with me.’

Russ felt a knot in his stomach, hearing echoes of words he said a long, long time ago. ‘I know.’

‘What I’m trying to say is –’

‘That I’m more than just _your demon_ now, right? That’s how you feel,’ Russ supplied, watching the other man nod.

‘I can’t explain it, Russ.’

‘That’s okay. You don’t have to.’

* * *

They were running through an abandoned mall, Chris with a detonator in one hand and Russ’ hand in the other. Thanks to a certain spell Russ had been saving for a rainy day, they managed to make it out before the whole place blew sky high. Russ felt lighter than air, and he wasn’t even floating this time.

Letting go of Russ’ hand, Chris enthusiastically jumped into the air, letting out an excited whoop. ‘Holy shit, did you _ see _ that?! How fucking dope was that?!’

Russ grinned, watching the man run around in circles, hands up in victory.

‘_Russelllllllll_....’

Russ stood completely still, feeling his non existent heart pound hard in his empty chest. He couldn’t bring himself to turn in the direction of the voice.

‘_Come now, Russ. Don’t you want you greet an old friend?_’ the voice said. Russ could feel the words winding through the air, making their way into his throat and rubbing it raw.

‘Russ? What’s wrong?’ Chris asked concernedly, snapping Russ out of the fog.

The demon let out a shaky breath, wringing his hands together. ‘Did you hear that?’

‘Hear _what_?’

‘_Russellllllll_....’

‘_That_, did you hear _that_?’ Russ shouted, starting to panic, eyes trained on the broken pavement below his feet.

Chris moved closer, cautiously putting a hand on the side of Russ’ face to try to ground him. ‘Look at me, Russ. There’s nobody else here.’

‘I _heard_ him!’

‘Who?’ the man asked, confused.

Russ looked up at Chris, yellow eyes pricking with tears. ‘_Doug_.’

* * *

Chris pulled the car into an alley and ditched it, Russ floating quickly after him.

‘You know, you could’ve just parked in the lot. We’re just getting coffee,’ Russ stated.

‘Old habits die hard, I guess,’ Chris answered, slowing so Russ could catch up to him, entwining their hands as soon as he was within reach. ‘I must look so weird right now. Nobody else can even see you.’

Russ shrugged, landing gently on the sidewalk to walk in time with Chris. ‘I don’t really mind.’

They turned the corner and Chris immediately stopped in his tracks, dropping his hand from Russ’.

‘What’s wrong?’ Russ asked, focused on the man trembling next to him.

Chris raised his hand and pointed in front of him, finger shaking slightly. ‘Russ.... Russ, that looks like _you_.’

Russ swung his head around to look where Chris was pointing. It did indeed look like himself, when he was human. The only thing that stood out to him was the bright red eyes belonging to none other than Doug. The demon stood before the pair, a grin on his face like a cat that got the cream.

‘Oh Russell, why don’t you introduce me to your little _friend_, hmm?’ Doug drawled out, crossing his arms smugly.

‘Russ, why does he look like you?’ Chris asked, eyes flicking nervously between the two demons.

‘Oh you _poor_ thing, didn’t he tell you what happened?’ Doug mocked. ‘Let me introduce myself, since ol’ Russ here is too rude to do so himself. My name is Doug. He sold his soul to me, and when he tried to get out of our little contract, something, shall we say, _went wrong_, and I got his body after all!’ Doug let out a hearty laugh, contorting the shell of Russ he wore into something sinister, face stretched wrong somehow.

‘You....you abandoned me,’ Russ managed to get out, earning another laugh from Doug.

‘_Honey_, that’s because you abandoned _me_ first! You couldn’t stand our little....mmm, _relationship_ one second longer and decided that _death_ was better than what we had together.’ Doug stepped closer to Chris, looking at Russ hungrily, eyes raking down his body slowly. ‘And _boy_, was what we had _good_. You should’ve seen how he used to beg for my guiding hand.’ A pause as he smirked, turning his attention back to Chris. ‘You look like you could use a _guiding hand_, too.’

In the blink of an eye, Russ flashed between the two other figures, hand pushing Doug backwards. ‘Don’t you _dare_ touch him,’ Russ commanded, words sharp.

Doug laughed once more, short and high pitched. ‘Oh Russell.... How touching.’ He snapped his fingers and suddenly the Russ-shaped façade melted away, revealing Doug’s true form. ‘Unfortunately, this isn’t a social call – I was sent to punish you. You see, Russ, it wasn’t smart of you to escape, and even less so for you to bring a _ human _ down with you. I still own your soul, and since you aren’t authorized to own anyone else’s, that means I own your little _boyfriend’s_ as well.’

‘What?’ Chris said, now panicking in earnest. ‘He can’t do that, can he?’

‘_Ohhh_, yes I can. Thankfully for you, humans aren’t my type anymore. I’ve already loved and lost the only one I ever cared for.’ Doug smiled sweetly, reaching out to interlock his fingers with Russ’ still outstretched hand. ‘And I really _did_ love you, Russ.’

‘I’m not going back, Doug,’ Russ whispered. ‘I can’t.’

‘You’re right, Russ,’ Doug said, letting go of his hand before taking a step away from him. ‘You can’t.’

Russ heard another snap, and the world went white.

* * *

‘_Where are we, Russ?_’ he heard from somewhere in the distance.

It was white for as long as he could see, not a single edge in sight. He couldn’t see Chris either, unable to pinpoint where the voice was coming from in the endless emptiness. ‘Chris?’ he shouted, echoing off of objects he couldn’t see.

‘_I’m over here!_’ the voice called back, surrounding him from every direction.

Russ shut his eyes, trying to focus; he was always sensitive to motion sickness, and floating in nothingness with no way of knowing which way was up made him feel queasy. The bright white still penetrated through his eyelids, but it was a little easier for him to breathe this way. ‘Chris, I.... Chris, I don’t know where you are!’

_‘I’m right here, Russ.’_

His eyes snapped open and he found himself in a chair facing the bearded man. There wasn’t anything else in the immediate area, but he was already beginning to feel more grounded just seeing Chris there.

‘Your horns are gone,’ Chris noted, finger outstretched in Russ’ direction.

Russ felt his head, fingers smoothing over the spots where his horns had been. ‘Well, I’ll be damned.’

‘We probably are,’ Chris said with a small chuckle in his voice. ‘I didn’t know your eyes were brown, Russ.’

‘They haven’t been in a long time. I almost forgot, to be honest.’

‘Where do you think we are? Like, is this Hell?’

Russ laughed. ‘It’s _definitely_ not Hell. Hell never looked like this. Maybe Purgatory?’

‘Shit, maybe this is like....you remember that show _Lost_?’

‘Oh my god,’ Russ answered, rolling his eyes, ‘we’re not in _Lost_. This is probably like....a holding place for our souls. Which....means you’re probably dead now too. Sorry.’

‘Bummer,’ Chris said with no real feeling behind it. ‘Guess I saw it coming anyways. I made a deal with a demon, after all.’

There was a long pause before Russ spoke up again. ‘So.... What should we do now?’

Chris shrugged. ‘Wanna talk about video games?’


End file.
